A bedtime routine that actually calms children down

Evenings with small children can turn into negotiations: one more story, one more drink, one more trip to the loo. The most effective tool isn't strictness, it's predictability. When children know what happens next, it's easier for them to let go.

Why a routine works

The same steps in the same order every night become a signal to the body that sleep is coming. After a few weeks, even brushing teeth or putting on pyjamas starts to make children feel sleepy.

An evening, step by step

The whole routine should take about 30–45 minutes. Adjust the order to your family, but keep it the same each night.

• Screens off about an hour before bed.
• Quiet play: puzzles, drawing, building blocks. No chasing or tickling.
• Bath or wash: warm water helps the body relax.
• Pyjamas and teeth, always in the same order.
• Dim lights: a lamp instead of the ceiling light.
• One story, agreed in advance, which ends the 'one more' debate.
• A short chat about the day: one nice thing, one hard thing.
• A cuddle and the same goodnight words every time.

How much sleep do preschoolers need?

Children aged 3–5 usually need around 10–13 hours of sleep in 24 hours, including naps. If your child wakes at 7am, a bedtime around 7:30–8pm is a good starting point.

A story that winds them down

A bedtime story should be short and calm and end with the hero falling asleep. In Little Bear Crumb and the Winter Sleep, a bear who can't fall asleep asks his forest friends how they do it, and each one shares a small trick: breathing like the wind, a soft bed, wrapping up tight and three good thoughts. Your child can try them along with Crumb.

Common mistakes

• Screens right before bed, including 'just one short cartoon'.
• Wild play when a parent gets home from work at 7:45pm.
• A different bedtime and order every day.
• Negotiating the number of stories every night.
• Sweets or sugary drinks in the evening.